Ronaldo’s agent dismisses chances of Manchester United return

He’s staying right where he is and will play into his 40s, insists the world’s most powerful football agent.

Cristiano Ronaldo has no interest in leaving Real Madrid to return to play for Manchester United, insists his agent Jorge Mendes.

United have been looking at bringing the Portuguese star back to Old Trafford since the summer amid rumours that he has become unhappy in the Spanish capital.

However, Mendes told Spanish radio station Cadena COPE on Wednesday evening that the 29-year-old will be going nowhere for a decade or more.

(If JOE were a trashy tabloid, we’d change that to FOR A DECADE OR MORE for emphasis. But we’re not. So we didn’t.)

“Cristiano is very happy at Real Madrid and has always been very happy. He’s going to break all the records with Real Madrid and he’s going to retire here,” said Mendes, happily finding a crawlspace inside the forward’s rear end.

“He has a lot of love for United because his heart was there for six years, but now he’s only thinking about Real Madrid and he’s going to stay here forever.

“He’s incredibly happy. It’s one thing to respect the people who remember him but he’s with Madrid to the death. We didn’t receive any offers for him because people know that it’s impossible to take Cristiano from Real Madrid, therefore, it’s not worth it to even call and ask about him.”

Mendes’ eulogy did not end there. In fact, he was only getting started.

“He gets better every time and he’ll continue to get better into his 40s,” he said.

“Along with being the best player, he’s the best athlete in the world. Nobody compares to him. There won’t be anyone like him for the next 500 years. He’s a very humble person and a family man. A fantastic father. He’s the son any mother would love to have. He’s concerned about others. There are so many great things about him that it’s impossible to list all of them.”

Mendes added: “Cristiano’s dream is to win another Champions League. He’s dreams are always short term. He’s never satisfied and he always wants more. He never stops surprising me. It’s impossible to find anyone like him in the history of sport.”

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